hey remember me?

so i've realized that things have been really lonely. i have tried to keep in touch and get together with so many people, people who i was always close to - and nothing works out. i've been trying to get together with one particular friend for so long now. we were supposed to hang out thursday night because we were both free, but then the day of she tells me she's babysitting. so then it was going to be saturday. then she was going to come to genesis with me sunday but ended up wanting to do something with a friend she didn't get to see on saturday. i haven't seen her since vbs - in june. it's seems like i've been forgotten. especially by one of my closest friends. it kinda means a lot. and it kinda hurts. greg left me a message on facebook and it almost made me cry. "RUUUUUUUUUUUTH my dear ruth!!!!!!! How are you these days? Oh I miss you terribly. I was having many memories flood my mind of spanish class and Italy soooooooo much from italy here's some: Long walks from venice to our hotel after having gotten a gelato with me and you and Chris, and then having a turrencial downpour on us while we try to get home. coming into your mansion of a room hahahaha...and just all of the little resteraunts that we ate at and all of the vendors and churchs that we went to. The roses that don't have thornes. and the gondola ride even though it was kabillgillion degrees below zero ahhaha. K, I just wanted to check up on you and see how you were doing and what you were up to and how you like college! and I will talk to ya later." yeah, i definitely miss him. and so many other people.

oh yeah, and the speech that i just got back today - it was on mesothelioma, the kind of cancer aunt lori has. i wanted to do it on that topic since it's so rare and i really know nothing about it. i'm kinda regretting that i did it though. "the median survival is approzimately one year from diagnosis and has not improved over the past two decades." that's encouraging. it will be a year in march. i'm kinda scared...