how much of God do you want?
that's something betsy green had asked more than once at camp. how much of God do you want? and she brought it up again last time i saw her. what i wouldn't give to go back to that night and really talk to her one on one again. goodness i love that girl. seriously she is most definitely the sweetest person you will ever meet. but her question has had me thinking lately.
how much of God do i want? do i want Him to have complete control over every area of my life?
wanting a relationship with God, wanting to have that passion and freedom back - it starts with a choice. a choice of saying "God, i want you in my life, i want more of you." but it doesn't end there. He wants total control of your life. and not in a bad way, but so that He can mend, soften, and heal you and make you the person He intented you to be. but in order for Him to do that, you have to be willing to let Him have complete control over your life. and that's hard to do. i've been finding that out more and more these past couple weeks. to be healed i have to acknowledge things i have hidden for years. and i have really felt a lot of those things since that night that i talked and prayed with betsy green. and they're things that are hard to feel and hard to acknowledge because i haven't wanted to feel or acknowledge them in so long. and it hurts like mad. it would be so easy to just crawl back up into my shell and refuse to feel, becoming numb to everything again. but what kind of life is that? it will get me nowhere except farther from where i want to be. and i don't want that. i want to live. i want that freedom and passion back. but am i willing to go through the hurt to get back to that point? how much of God do i want?
what can be more valuable than the kingdom of God? how much would you gladly sell in pursuit of this most priceless, inestimable, and incalculable treasure? how much is it worth to you?
how much of God do you want?
how much of God do i want? do i want Him to have complete control over every area of my life?
wanting a relationship with God, wanting to have that passion and freedom back - it starts with a choice. a choice of saying "God, i want you in my life, i want more of you." but it doesn't end there. He wants total control of your life. and not in a bad way, but so that He can mend, soften, and heal you and make you the person He intented you to be. but in order for Him to do that, you have to be willing to let Him have complete control over your life. and that's hard to do. i've been finding that out more and more these past couple weeks. to be healed i have to acknowledge things i have hidden for years. and i have really felt a lot of those things since that night that i talked and prayed with betsy green. and they're things that are hard to feel and hard to acknowledge because i haven't wanted to feel or acknowledge them in so long. and it hurts like mad. it would be so easy to just crawl back up into my shell and refuse to feel, becoming numb to everything again. but what kind of life is that? it will get me nowhere except farther from where i want to be. and i don't want that. i want to live. i want that freedom and passion back. but am i willing to go through the hurt to get back to that point? how much of God do i want?
what can be more valuable than the kingdom of God? how much would you gladly sell in pursuit of this most priceless, inestimable, and incalculable treasure? how much is it worth to you?
how much of God do you want?
posted by Ruth Marie at 6:07 PM
1 Comments:
that's a powerful question. really. I think I have an idea of where you're coming from. and I'm also finding it harder and harder sometimes.
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